Some Reflections

Today after talking to my sisters I realized something very scary. I'm only 25 now and that's not too bad but April, April is my fear. May is happy because the baby is coming then but April, what's coming for me is a scary number 26. Holy cow it hits me, finally. 25 is not too bad but 26, all of a sudden that's old. Wait until I turn 30, that would be scary but for now 26 seems extremely old. I thought that I was still a young buck when I went to Relief Society the first time in our ward and they thought I was one of the young women. I felt pretty good then and Sunday a brother in our ward thought I was 20 but after talking to my siblings who are younger then me, that's when I realized that I'm getting older. Somehow the last 5 years I felt like I'm just 20 years old just graduating from BYU. What have I accomplished in the last 25 years? I've always wanted to be as smart as Dan by the time I'm 29 and know all those random things he knows but can I? It made me ponder the things I've done and callings I've had since I joined the church. I was called on Sunday to be our Relief Society Instructor (It's my 2nd time now); I was a Gospel Doctrine Teacher in our last ward; taught CTR 4 and 5 twice as well; I was a choir director for our ward and a pianist for our Relief Society, both callings have increased my understanding of music a little more and got me into theater and Women's Chorus at BYU which was a great success because of the opportunity we got to sing in General Conference. But when I was asked to play the piano for our Relief Society because the pianist never showed up, I realized that I hadn't practiced the piano in months. Thankfully they were Christmas songs and it wasn't too bad but I was not prepared. I taught myself the piano because I was not fortunate to have opportunities when I was younger to take any lessons for anything. My parents were too poor. I don't understand those people who were given the opportunity and never took it and I'm jealous of those who did. But it's never too late to learn a new instrument or take voice lessons. I'm recording my first CD in January and I'm way excited! At least that will be a great accomplishment before I turn 26. I got my Master's degree in Counseling and although that's a huge accomplishment, I won't use that for a while. I'm hoping to be able to use a little bit of it when I work with a brother in the ward who owns a women and children's center. I don't want to go on and brag and brag about the things I've done but as I thought about big accomplishments in my life, the biggest 2 accomplishments I've had in my life was being married to my sweetheart and bringing a beauuuutiful and healthy 8lbs 15 ounces Reena into this world and carrying this baby that will join our family in May. It makes me so grateful for all I do have when yesterday I was reminded of a fellow I acted and modeled with whose picture showed up at one of the medical websites I went to who had a terrible experience with their first child. His wife carried the baby for 6 months and got everything prepared and announced when they found out that the child died but she still had to carry it to full term. It was extremely difficult for them as everyone was asking when the baby is due. They didn't want to go out in public and when the baby came there was no joy because it was dead. What a sad sad experience that was for them. I pray that this baby stays healthy and strong and that our other children will as well. There is one big dream of mine that I want to fulfill someday when our kids are all in school and that is to teach Counseling Psychology at a University but that dream is still not as big as the dream that all of our children will be healthy and faithful in the church. I have this hope for everyone...