The girls and their daddy were on a daddy daughter date when I started this blog, a week ago. They went and watched Big Hero 6. Just Ro and I were home. I didn't go because we just went and saw Boxtrolls at the theater when my sister was here. I started writing. Next thing I know was I was on page 6. I decided it would be best to save that for a book on my grandma. I'll just give you a snippet of it. Here it is. Our trip.
A Pioneer's Legacy of Love - One traveler's diary
Pioneer translated into Vietnamese is "Nguoi di tien phong". Tien
Phong is where I was born, where my grand mother was born and where my
mother grew up. Legacy is "di san" what my grandmother left behind.
Love is "tinh thuong" what my grandma left behind for me and what I
could not live without. She is the most amazing person
We
have been declared world travelers many times by friends. This year we
went to Utah, Idaho, Florida, Vietnam. My kids love flying. I do
not. My kids will beg to fly somewhere on occasion and they get to do
that. They need to consider themselves lucky, blessed, rich, etc. Many kids their age have never even had a chance to
fly!!! My kids were introduced to a whole NEW WORLD~
This
world, according to Brie who thought that if you have traveled outside of
the country you are in another world, as if she has crossed another
realm of existence. She asked when we got off the plane "does this
world have cheese, milk, pizza, mac and cheese?" "NO, darling, they do
not" was my answer. Now, I have since corrected myself because I've
learned that they do indeed have all those things she asked about. I
just had to ask the right source!
My mom and great aunt greeted us at
the airport along with many of my cousins and aunts and extended family
that I have not seen in person in over 9 years. We couldn't hold back
the tears. We embraced one another as we shared that closeness that I
couldn't digitally the past decade. Attentions were drawn to grandma who
several days before our arrival was rushed to the emergency room in Da
Nang city, a 3 hour drive from her home. No one thought she could
surpass the pain she was going through. She has been languishing in so much pain as the cancer has metastasized to her brain. She held her chest as she anticipated the day I would arrive with my husband that
she adored 9 years ago and my 3 children that she hasn't met. She had faith that she would live to see her
firstborn granddaughter whom she raised for 11 years. Doctors declared that she only had hours to live. Crawling on the floor holding her chest, she was silently counting the
hours, not of the life she has left, but of the joy that she would
experience when she gets to embrace all of her children, her
grandchildren, and her great grandchildren. No one told her she has cancer. She did not know what was happening to her body. No one wanted to tell her what she was going through. They feared she would lose the will to live. They didn't want to be the person to tell her that she has one final trial left in her course. They wanted her to will it. They wanted her to live.
She froze at the sight of her granddaughter. Her eyesight or whatever was left could barely make out that it was me. The sound of my voice startled her. It was 10:00 at night, way passed the time allowed for visitors. But who had the heart to say no to someone traveling 7,042 mi to see a loved one, perhaps on her loved one's last week of life.
Oh Vietnam, how I've missed you...your tall coconut trees, your rolling waves. Your motor bikes and mountainous views. I've missed it all so much. There was nothing to fear. The kids embraced the heat and everyone did fabulously well on the 19 hr flight, even Ronin.
Radiation therapy to treat the lung cancer left grandma looking so much older. It was last year she and my mom looked almost like sisters. The images I have of her in my head was somewhat closer to these pictures my sister Thuyen took of her last year when she visited. I broke down crying when I saw her
Only I showed up the night we arrived. No way I could have slept that night. And we
didn't. We were bright awake while everyone in the house slept.
Outside of course people were still drinking and eating. VIETNAM NEVER
SLEEPS!
The next day after a few hours of closing our eyes we hurried the kids to the hospital to meet their great grandma for the first time. Of course they loved her right away. Thanks to the internet they have seen her many times and she knows them by name and by their voice. They gave her kisses on the cheeks and asked many questions about her health. They were very concerned.
We took the taxi wherever we went. When we stepped out people stared at us with smiles as if we were celebrities. We loved going to the fresh open markets.
Look at that market of fruits and veggies! The market was a few steps away from my great aunt Di Tho's house. The reddish pink fruit (Dragon fruit) is the most popular
Everyday we took a taxi to visit grandma. Everyday we had a hard time leaving her
Grandma was blessed by her 4 daughters. They took such good care of her. They were all there, two at a time and made sure she was taken care of each day. I tried offering to help massage her on occasions but almost had to stand in line. At almost any given moment, at least 10 grandchildren or neighbors were visiting her. I lost track counting how many people showed up to see her. She was so loved.
Ronin's favorite thing was giving her head-butts.
Debrie cried almost every time we left great grandma. She cried for days after we got back from Vietnam. She wanted to go back. In touch with her roots.
In one of the days that we visited grandma at the hospital, my great aunt said "oh my gosh we need to do a 4 generations picture!" I looked around and couldn't believe I didn't see it either. My grandma is the first born in her family, my mom is the firstborn in her family. I'm the firstborn in my family, and Reena is our firstborn and the best part is we're all GIRLS!! We were all in the same room and almost missed that! How unique and what a treasure this picture is to me. I'm cropping this and turning it into a nice canvas for sure!
Four Generations of Firstborns!!
Besides visits to the hospital, we also took the kids to the beach. The beach in Vietnam is amazing all year round. It is the beach that Dan and the kids want to go back and live there for a year. We would get a house right by the beach and play there all day. It is a warm shower temperature. No getting used to the temperature deal. Walk in and relax. People are modest, except for the few Westerners that you see on occasions that can't keep their naked bodies just indoors but have to flash them in public.
The sand at the beaches in Vietnam is awesome. Ronin enjoyed playing in them and tasting the sand on occasion
Parks in Vietnam are not quite as child friendly as in the States. Not a whole lot of soft cushy play yard sand or mulch. Ok there is a bit on some parts but not as much as here.
It would be a
shame of me to skip forward this far into her life. This woman, Duong
Thi Hoa, my grandmother is the most amazing person you will read about.
Where to begin when you are writing about a life full of experiences so
different than an average person could imagine? With the help of my
mother who is in tremendous sorrow at the loss of her hero, I will write
everything that she is reminiscing right now about her mother for
posterity's sake. Grab a tissue and a cup of hot cocoa. This will be
long...
My cousins are much happier this time because of my kids.
Ronin knows how to give love to everyone he sees. He gives the best hugs and kisses on demand, not to mention his head butt, even to "strangers".
This is my hometown. My village. The picture above was where I slept many a nights. The scene was sad. My grandma's altar above. We stayed in the city for our first week and went to the country when my grandma was discharged from the hospital. She passed away in her home an hour after she got home from the hospital. It was sad, but serene. She left very peaceful and quietly after having all her four kids surrounding her. She closed her eyes and told them she just needed some rest. After a while she stopped breathing and her spirit left her body. Her funeral went for 2 days. So much crying and wailing. It was a very very sad sight. We read the scriptures and taught people about life after death. She had many many visitors. She was loved and missed.
Every time there is a meal, the whole neighborhood comes and eats with you. It is this way whenever there is a big event in the family. Whether it be a wedding, a birthday, a funeral, or whatever the event may be. Vietnamese people love food and celebration. See where I get it from? Dan comes to the realization more and more each time we go.
The fields where I used to tend the cows. Many days playing here with friends from the hood.
How would you like to do dishes everyday like this Debrie?
Getting a hang of chopsticks
We just can't avoid yard work!
While in Vietnam we celebrated our 11th year Anniversary. Well sort of. We decided to dedicate it to a day of service to get grandma's tombstone ready. In Vietnam the favor would be returned by your ancestors blessing you for your hard work. May many more years of greatness be bounty and prosperous for us!
It
was in Vietnam that Ronin learned to say "Hello" into the phones. He
grabbed everybody's phones that were within his reach and said hello.
Nice pose with grandpa. But do you dare to drive that thing around anymore Ong Ngoai? NO WAY! says my dad.
Dan
and I decided to shower the old fashion way when we were in the
country, which was using a bucket of water and dumping it onto your head
several times. The water was pumped from the well.
This
very interesting fruit is called "Dau Dat". It is very sour when it's
not ripe and the name instantly makes my mouth salivate. It is not a
vine. It is a tree and the fruits grow directly off of the trunk.
Dan is testing out his skills at cracking up a coconut. He cracked 3 coconuts for us to enjoy
Debrie sweeping the front yard
My
best friend from Elementary school came by for a visit. She is a
preschool teacher just like me, private practice even. Some things
never changed. I was hoping to see a few more friends but they have
moved away and I didn't have much time to travel else where due to our
events. Next year perhaps when we go back
Doing
laundry the old fashion way. Thank goodness we didn't have to do
laundry this way for too many loads. Way to work those muscles
husband!
Walking around the market where my aunts Di Hai and Di Ut work.
The kids became friends with the geckos. They are every where in Vietnam
This
is my other grandma. She is my dad's mom. I'm so happy she is still
alive. I could write another book on her life as well. She is 87 years
old. She went through many wars as well and gave birth to 9 children
but only 4 survived. She is a trooper. I can not even begin to write
how painful that thought is and somehow she still manages to keep a
smile on her face. I hope we get to see her again. She had a scary
episode of pneumonia and was hospitalized about a week after we left and
we thought we would lose her as well but thankfully she is still here
with us. However, she has bad knees and cannot walk and wishes to go just like my other grandma but for us kids we're glad she is still here.
She is 5' 7'', can you believe that? She married my grandpa who was
shorter than her though so my dad did not get the tall gene.
My cousin got the tall gene though. This kid is 16 and 6 ft tall!!
It's
so fun to watch my kiddos running around on paths that I used to run
around on. Every turn we took brought back so many memories. No Disneyland or Disneyworld experiences could have compared to this. This
was so worth it; so worth it in every way.
This almost-ripe rice was close to my parents home
We saw these kids and I had no clue they were my cousin's kids. My first cousins once removed.
My dad and his sister
Below is my dad's brother, Chu Ut or Tam Nguyen
Dragon fruit vine. We had a lot of dragon fruit and rambutan fruits there. My girls loved it.
I think in this picture Debrie is telling daddy she has to go to the bathroom again. My girls got the traveler's diarrhea for a day.
Banana plants
My other uncle. My dad's older brother. He was so kind and made us a yummy meal. He was so funny with Dan. He wanted Dan to understand about his views on the war. He tried to test out his English with words like "Number one" and "Henry Kissinger". He also fought with the Americans but was not a political leader and prisoner of war so he didn't get an invitation to come to the States like my dad. Maybe someday we could help him come for a visit.
Dan did a lot more walking around when we were in Tien Phuoc. He was getting to know the place quite well and really enjoyed the exercise and the time off of work. Check out the beautiful Temple above, where my aunt met her husband who was a monk at this place. Her beauty gave him another vision of what he wanted to do with his life and that was raising a family and not being a monk. I love their love story. I will probably include this part in my grandma's book as she was very much objecting their marriage. They ended up eloping for a few years. Grandma repented of course and she absolutely loved him and it is a happy ending.
And a roasted pig for breakfast anyone?? :) No, not I. But I'll take a slice of bacon after it's all processed.
I told Dan I used to ride my bike for 8 miles to see my parents on the weekend when I lived with my grandma in Tien Phong. The distance was impressive for a 9 year old but the road condition was even more so. The roads are paved now and it should be much easier. He then decided that he wanted to do the same. He wanted to ride the bike from my aunts house to Tien Phong and experience a little bit like what it was for me. I told him it wasn't wise to do so first because he's a white guy going alone. I don't believe it wasn't safe to walk around but who knows what nut case is still mad about the war. Anyway my aunt suggested that we should cover up his hair a little. First she came out with the cone hat which looked ridiculous. Then she came out with a hat that says USA on it. Haha, right at home! I have no idea how that was better. But the funny part of this story is that Dan and his 185 lbs on my girl cousin's bike totally ruined the bike. He broke the chain and several people stopped and attempted to help him. So instead of hiding him and being discrete about it, he drew attention to himself even more. Luckily my other cousin was on her way back on her scooter and spotted him. My aunt was too but she just passed him thinking he was just some guy trying to put the chain back on his bike. The chain did come off but after one hill the chain broke. To make the story short, my cousin called her mom back and she rescued him and his bike. I was home ROTFLOL
Fresh water fish! So fun to play with. My aunts and I used to make fishing nets and go in the rice fields to catch them all the time. Now my kiddos get to play with them, too.
It's really a jungle out there!
We said goodbye to the mosquitos (Reena got the most bites and was allergic to the bites), the mountains, the rice fields...
Grandma's tombstone. 'Til we meet again. It will be a sweet reunion for all of us kids, grandkids, great grandkids to see you again someday Ngoai!
We decided our last day ought to be more touristy. We went to the historic city of Hoi An. My sister and brother in law came to Vietnam a few days before we left and joined us in the mosquito biting epidemic.
Who wouldn't love a boy that gives out kisses on demand?!! Everyone was trying to get a kiss from Ronin
Uhm...
A mere walk around this city will make you happy. But the stores? The donut treats? Even better!
Enough kisses people! I've given you each a kiss already. That's what that face is.
My cousin wanted me to do a pre-wedding mini session for her before we left. With make up, camera, and a hair curling iron I got to work and got her some pretty pictures. I'll upload them on my photography blog soon but here are some to share. It was a very cloudy day and even rained a bit but with some editing I'm happy with how they turned out.
Everyone had a great time on our last day, except for Dan who was so uncomfortable. He was doing great. No sickness and such. But then he got cocky at the 2nd to last day. He took Josh, my brother in law, on a walk around the jungle and walked for over an hour and didn't bring water along. The heat was 95+ degrees. He thought, oh yeah "Che". Che is a type of bean drink that has coconut juice, ice, lots of sugar, and tapioca and it powers you right up. But ice? At a street vendor? Not to be trusted. Did I fail to mention that dear? No you don't. Oh no you didn't? You will have diarrhea darling. And yes he did! It took him from 185 lbs to 175 lbs. Yes he was uncomfortable. The flight was long. Thankfully it came on the last 3 hours and not the whole time we were in Korea for a 10 hr layover. We got home and he was practically running to the bathroom for a day and went to the dr and got some antibiotics. Poor thing. I lost 4 lbs as well but it was due to the food being so not fatty. Everyone was saying I needed to eat more and was feeding me so much food. We even had Pizza for one of the nights we were there and we met the
manager who is from Seattle but currently living in Vietnam. Wild!
Yikes! Well, how's that before your big Thanksgiving dinner? Hopefully you'll read this post after your big Thanksgiving dinner. I'm so grateful we got to experience life in Vietnam. I'm thankful for Dan and his job. He is an amazing husband and daddy. He provides for us monetarily but he does so much around the house to help me. I'm thankful for the family I have. Such wonderful people to live with on this earth and I do believe we are eternal. There is more to it than this earthly temporal life. We spent moderately while on our vacation and we gave more than we spent and that makes me feel so happy. I'm happy my grandma is not in pain anymore. That she is free and is spending time with her maker, our father in Heaven. I look forward to doing her temple work and get started on the work for my ancestors from the book my great uncle gave me. My patriarchal blessing says that my work will not be done until the work of my people are done and there is much work ahead. I need to get started! I'm thankful for my children. Dan was blessed that if he lives worthily than sons and daughters will be born through his loins. I'm thankful to be his eternal companion and to do something as great as being a mom to his kids. I'm thankful for everything I'm learning through my mom and dad and my mom and dad in laws. The greatest thing about parents and grandparents is they truly care.
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